"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Hurt Feelings

A couple of months ago, someone made a comment about my kids.

Now, I know, my kids are not perfect.  Anyone that reads my blog with any regularity will know this.  Sawyer is loud and demanding, Sebastian is shy, stubborn and frustrating. 

But they are also awesome and hilarious and loving.  Nothing give me more joy in my life than my kids.

Like it is with family, I am allowed to say anything I want about them.  YOU aren't. 

You aren't allowed to tell me that my kids are bad, or weird (except in that good way.)  You aren't allowed to comment on my kids in any way that isn't loving and understanding.  That might seem unfair, but it is a reality of life.  I wouldn't tell you that your kids are brats.  I wouldn't tell you that they are ugly, or sound funny, or that I don't like them.  I wouldn't even say that passive-aggressively.  I know there is a line, and I would never, EVER cross it.

So, like I said, a couple of months ago, someone said something.  I won't say who, so don't even ask. 

I know, in my heart of hearts, there was no malicious intent behind this.  It was more thoughtless.  Someone who just didn't know about that line.  What they said wasn't even that bad.  It was more the meaning behind it.  Yes, my kids are shy and a little weird around strangers.  Yes, Sebastian is incredibly anti-social.  Yeah, he's autistic and doesn't make eye contact and can't converse well with people.  Sawyer is 3.  She says hilarious things, but only if you listen.  If she doesn't know you well, she will play shy, and hide.  Yes, sometimes she has temper tantrums.

So, at the time, I played nice, and kept my thoughts and feeling to myself.  I hoped I could brush it off or forget about it.  No harm done.

But I can't.  I keep thinking about it.  Every time I see this person (which, granted, isn't often!) I think about what they said.  And I think, if they were willing to make comments to my face, what must they think or say when I am not there?

It makes me not want to see them.  It makes me angry. 

Anyway, it was on my mind today. Hopefully, soon, it won't be.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "never forget."

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