Forgetful

I try really, really hard not to be forgetful.

I make lists, I write in my calendars (I have 3), I send emails to myself, I have dozens of little tricks that I use every day to make sure that I don't forget things.

Today, I forgot I had an appointment.  Not just an appointment, but an appointment that I have been waiting 3 months for.  One that was just for me, to help me feel good about myself.  And I totally fricking forgot.

I am so angry with myself.  Not just disappointed.  Furious.  I hate that I forgot.  I have been mad for an hour, and it's still not going away.

I live with an extremely forgetful person.  I am constantly reminding him to do things, to go places.  And he still forgets.  And he doesn't care.  It never seems to bother him that he forgets to pick stuff up, to call and make the appointment, to go here or there. 

Because he is forgetful, I, by default, have to remember everything.  If I forget, it doesn't get done.  I have no back up plan.  So, for me to forget this one thing, is just infuriating to me.

My first reaction was to be mad at him.  Because he was taking a nap, watching TV with the kids, while I was working.  And 20 minutes after my appointment time, he calls down and asks if I forgot. 

Of course I did. Why didn't you remind me 30 minutes ago?

But I know, I can't blame him.  It's not his responsibility, it's mine.  I am the one that has to remember.  I know that.  It's always been this way. 

So now, I am just mad at myself. 

I will get over it, I know.  I will be able to look at it rationally, and understand that it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  I will be embarrassed by the fact that I was angry and talked meanly to everyone.  It will blow over and I will move on.

But I will always remember that I forgot.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "needs reminding."