Thankful

I have been working really really hard on being grateful.  I hope it's working.

A couple of weeks ago, I was home alone with the kids.  They were both in bed, asleep, and I was browsing Netflix, looking for new documentaries or horror films.  What I found was "The Secret".

I never read the book.  I never knew what the secret was.  Had no idea.  But I have always been intrigued by it, so figured I would check it out. 

Turns out the secret is (spoiler alert here!!) about the laws of attraction.  Basically, if you think and say and feel good things, more good things will come to you.  If you think and say and feel bad things, more bad things will come to you.  It ain't rocket science, people.

So, I watched the show, and while the testimonies seemed like magic, alot of it made sense to me.  I could see this reflected in my life.  Times that went well, when I was feeling good about my life, it seemed like more and more goodness flowed in.  When I get sunk in my pessimism, there is usually just more of the same.  This seemed and felt right.  Maybe I am crazy.  I don't care.  :D

So, I started trying to implement some of the stuff they talk about in the movie.  Gratitude.  Asking for what you want.  Envisioning your dreams and desires.  Focusing on the positive emotions in life.  Stuff like that.  But it's hard.  It is really hard to be positive when you hear seemingly bad news, or when you get frustrated.  I know they say that those are the times when you have to focus on the positive the most and what you can get the most out of, for exactly that reason...because it IS so hard.

When researching it more (because that is what I do), I discovered that there is another book, a follow up to "The Secret", called "The Magic".  This was supposed to be more of a step by step guide of how to help the magic of the laws of attraction into your life.  I thought, Great!  I will have to keep my eye open for this.  And then promptly forgot.

Fast forward a couple of weeks.  Geoff and I take the kids to the Pen Centre, our local mall, just to walk around and wear off some energy.  Sebastian wanted to browse the book store, and Sawyer wanted to run up and down the wheelchair ramp.  Geoff went with Bastian, I stayed with Sawyer. 
As I sat and played with her, I noticed a book on display in front of the store.  It was "The Magic!!"  When Geoff came out, I mentioned to him that this was that thing that I talked about that time (the sad thing is that our conversations are often exactly like that!)  He promptly went back in and bought it for me.  I was very touched and grateful...what a great way to start!!

So, it is a guide.  28 days to a more grateful you.  I have been working through the book.  Everyday, it gives you a new thing to consider being grateful for.  Things like your body and mind, for all the money you have received (and probably haven't considered) in your life.  Things like your bills, and people that have impacted and changed your life.  I am on day 13. 

Do I feel more grateful?  I think so.  I certainly think about gratitude more.  I think about being positive as much as I can.  Does negative pop out??  Of course it does.  Especially around other people, when they are being negative.  I try and temper it, but I am still learning.  When I exercise, there are certain routines, or moves that I don't enjoy as much.  I will find myself saying "I HATE this exercise.." but I always try and follow it up with " but I am grateful for doing it because I know it will work" or "but I am grateful that my body is capable of doing it."  Something like that, to just change my focus on it.  It ain't easy, but it's nice to think and feel good thoughts.

One of the first things that you have to do, every day, first thing in the morning, is write down 10 things that you are thankful or grateful for and why you are grateful for them.  I thought I would share some of the things I have written.  Some days, it is harder to think of things to be grateful for. 

- I am grateful for the sunshine today because Sawyer and I could play outside.
- I am grateful for my job for a nice, easy, clean workday today.
- Thank you for Sebastian, for staying up a bit later today, for more 1 on 1 time.  (this was me being positive about him not going to bed!)
- I am grateful for my co-workers for being smart and making my days better.
- I am grateful to the author of the Night Circus for writing such a good story.
- I am thankful for my home for being my sanctuary.
- I am grateful for my body for being strong and capable.
- I am thankful for my brother for being in my life.
- I am grateful for my fingers for being capable of knitting and making beautiful things.
- Thank you for Michelle since she trusts me and that is a nice feeling.
- I am grateful that Geoff took us for a drive last night, when I was the only one who wanted to go.
- I am so thankful for all the comments my friends made on my Facebook page today, since they made me feel good and surprised me, in the best way. (this was my birthday!)
- Thank you for Sawyer because she makes me laugh every single day.
- Thank you for Sebastian because he teaches me patience and understanding.
- Thank you for Geoff for being someone I can always talk to.
- I am so grateful for my parents for loving my kids and being there every single time I have needed them.
- I am grateful for pizza, since it gives me something to hope for.
- I am thankful for Netflix since it gives me something other to do than waste time of Facebook.

LOL...see, some days are harder than others.

Today's task was to think of your ulitmate dreams and goals, what you really want from the universe.  You have to write out your top 10, and say thank you as if they have already happened.  Then, to inspire that true sense of gratitude, you go through a visualization activity where you think about what you would feel like when your dream comes true.  Who would you tell first?  How would you tell them?  What is the first great thing you would do after it came true? 

I worked my way through that tonight, while I was soaking in the tub.  By the end, I was crying and laughing at the same time.  The emotions stirred up were so powerful and overwhelming...it was amazing.  If nothing else, I have hope.  I want to feel that way for real, not just in my mind.  It pushes me to achieve and hope and try.

So, if the next time we talk, I sound funny trying to be positive, just know, it all about gratitude and I am just trying to bring some more good into my world.  Buy me a beer or something, help the cause! 

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "never enough magic in your life".