"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Update- My Year of Living Fiercely

As I posted in January, I have decided that my word for this year is fierce.  No more procrastinating, no more timid.  Time to be bold and wonderful and a little bit crazy.  To take chances and leaps of faith.  To believe, beyond reason and common sense that amazing things are coming my way, and then make them happen. 

So, yeah, that's the idea.  It might be a bit milder than that, but still, when I dream, I like to dream big.

It was one of the biggest compliments of my life when a friend of mine related a conversation they had had with their significant other.  She was talking about me, and the idea of having a word to define and direct your intentions for the year.  She told him that my word was fierce.  She started talking about some of the things that I am doing and have done- the polar bear dip, the zombie run a couple of years ago.  Tattoos, and autism, and travel and hair and fun.  And he said to her "She sounds pretty fierce already.  What else can she do?"

I have decided to take that as my motto- what else can I do?

  • I started the year off right with a kick ass New Year's party and a polar bear dip.  Crazy super fun. 
  • I have blogged already, but I have started my Sebastian sleeve.  Two down, a bunch more to go. 
  • We had a spontaneous road trip to go and visit Bill.  He and I were chatting one Saturday afternoon as I was cleaning as it slowly began to sink in that he was lonely.  And I felt like having some beers with a friend.  Geoff got home at 530, we were on the road by 630 and were there by 1130.  We had some laughs and fun, and came home the next day.  As always, we hit a snowstorm, and the drive was hell.  But it was worth it.  It always is.  Spontaneous is fierce.  As fierce as my friendship. 
Visiting Bill
at Bill's after a 5 hour late night drive
  • I got my hair did.  Sherry pulled it out and had it done a beautiful purple and red.  It is starting to wash out now, but the blonde underneath is giving it a really nice texture and pattern.  I am digging on it hard right now.  And anyway, it gets redone next Saturday. 
purple, just after it was done

before and after hair- but you can see it is lightning up

  • I shot a bow and arrow.  My good friend and I went to the Toronto Sportsman Show.  They had an archery range.  I rocked that shit.  It was super fun and I would definitely do it again.  I also rocked out the skins quiz the taxidermy booth had.  Nailed 11 out of the 12 skins.  I think I impressed the lady and even Shannon looked at me and said "Well done". 

sweet ass truck at the sportsman show that I wanted.  It had skeleton fish on it.
  • I have cleaned like a mother fucker.  I purged Sawyer's room, Sebastian's room, the living room, the bathroom and the rec room.  I have made 5 big trips to Value Village, and sold about 4 things on Kijijji.  I am still working on my room.  Coming up next is the linen closet, the kitchen and the storage in the basement.  Still the work of months, but it is incredibly cathartic.  It makes me happy to be in my space.  I haven't been able to say that for a long time. 
Sawyer's before and after

Sebastian's before and after
  • I have been trying to reconnect with friends.  Not even necessarily old friends, but friends that I have right now, that I have just started to drift from.  People that I have talked to for months and years, but haven't really talked to.  I have had cups of tea, and vodka and sodas, and snacks and shared hugs and tears, but more laughs and inappropriate jokes.  It's been amazing to share my stories, to be heard and to hear them in return.  To learn about the amazing people in my life.  One of the best choices I have made to date. 
  • I have gone keto.  I am dedicated and immersed.  I have researched and read and experiment and failed and succeed.  My biggest accomplishment was a 100% keto dinner for my family, including Barb and Bill last Wednesday. It was Race Car Day ( a holiday Sawyer created to justify getting presents and having turkey) and it was perfect.  I've lost some weight, and I feel better than I have in a while.  It has given me some focus and some direction.  I have 2 resident experts in Barb and Bill, and I reach out to them often.  Bill and I flip pictures of our meals back and forth on a regular basis.  Even Geoff is liking the keto food, although he still enjoys the carbs on the sly. 

  • I did the 24 hour challenge.  I jumped in a snow covered trampoline in my Wonder Woman underwear and posted it on Facebook.  Yep.  Did that. 
  • Sang karaoke.  Horribly, wonderfully well.  Posted that on Facebook too.  Of course I did.
I decided that I needed to help this girl sing Hotel California.  She didn't ask for help.
 I just decided to do it out of the goodness of my heart.

So, what's next?  What else can I do?

I am looking to rededicate myself with work.  I have been working and being focused, but I need to find my passion again.  I am thinking of ways to do that. 

I want to write more.  That's always there.

I want to clean up my finances.  Take some pressure off, and make sure I am stable for the near future.

I want to keep cleaning.  I want to start changing.  I am gonna paint like a crazy person. 

I want to talk to more friends.  I want more road trips.  I want to start exercising. 

I am getting Sebastian back into clean eating.  It's a bit overwhelming, so this will be a slow process.  Sawyer too.  God help me.

But mainly, I am keeping my eyes open.  Trying to find those opportunities for fierceness that the universe is just going to present to me.  The ones that if I blink, or look the other way, I might miss.  Those are the opportunities for greatness.  I want to pursue bliss.  Happiness.  To smile every day.  To laugh. 

Fierce, motherfuckers.  Fierce.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "not stopping now". 


  1. Wow..each time i read something by you it inspires me..makes me realize..life is too short. Fierce. I love it.