White Trash

So, for some unknown reason, I decided to watch "The Real L Word" on demand.  It was ok, and I got a little addicted, only because I had to know what happened to these crazy lesbians. 

Anyway, 9 episodes later, inspiration struck.  The one girl, Whitney (who classifies herself as a hard femme, or soft butch, but has dreds and tattoos and is quite a player) had a "white trash" party.  They had awesomely horrible t-shirts, drank Tang and jello shots, and had an inflatable pool for creamed corn/lube wrestling.  She also ended up fucking some girl with a strap on while the party was going on, but that is not really what inspired me.

I want to have a white trash party.  I have put the call out to some of my friends, to see if they are up for it.  I think they will be.  So, here is what I envision:

- spray cheese on crackers and hamburgers on white bread (not buns)

- beer in the can, wine in the box

- All Skynrd, all the time.  But let's mix in some Hank Williams, Rush, ACDC and oh, so many others.

- trucker caps and mullets

- daisy dukes and cellulite

- high topped adias.  On the ladies.

- boys in jogging pants

Oh, I can't wait.  If you are reading this, you are totally invited.  I expect you to come prepared.  Knock out your front teeth, bring your cousins (especially the one you have a crush on) and your Jeff Foxworthy tapes.  It's gonna be a White Trash Party.

Rosie N. Grey

The N stands for "nouveau trash."