"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Monday, May 23, 2011
So, for some unknown reason, I decided to watch "The Real L Word" on demand. It was ok, and I got a little addicted, only because I had to know what happened to these crazy lesbians.
Anyway, 9 episodes later, inspiration struck. The one girl, Whitney (who classifies herself as a hard femme, or soft butch, but has dreds and tattoos and is quite a player) had a "white trash" party. They had awesomely horrible t-shirts, drank Tang and jello shots, and had an inflatable pool for creamed corn/lube wrestling. She also ended up fucking some girl with a strap on while the party was going on, but that is not really what inspired me.
I want to have a white trash party. I have put the call out to some of my friends, to see if they are up for it. I think they will be. So, here is what I envision:
- spray cheese on crackers and hamburgers on white bread (not buns)
- beer in the can, wine in the box
- All Skynrd, all the time. But let's mix in some Hank Williams, Rush, ACDC and oh, so many others.
- trucker caps and mullets
- daisy dukes and cellulite
- high topped adias. On the ladies.
- boys in jogging pants
Oh, I can't wait. If you are reading this, you are totally invited. I expect you to come prepared. Knock out your front teeth, bring your cousins (especially the one you have a crush on) and your Jeff Foxworthy tapes. It's gonna be a White Trash Party.