So, I briefly mentioned yesterday that I had slacked off when it came to my exercise and workout routine. That is a slight understatment. Basically, the month of December 2012 was a total eating free-for-all. You name it, I shoved it in my face. I had been on a slippery slope anyway, but the holidays seemed to make for an even rougher ride, so I ended up gaining weight back. Not everything I lost- THANK GOD!- but enough that I am a bit angry and disappointed in myself.
So, beginning in January, I have tried to do better. I am somewhat lacking in the motivation department, so the attempt has been liberally peppered with trips and falls and backwards slides (not to mention pizza and cupcakes and sodas, oh my!)
I started exercising again, doing the Insanity workouts. They are intense and yes, a little bit insane. I can't do them all the way full out the way they do on the tapes, but I do my best and modify where I have to. I am happy with myself every time I finish.
Because Niagara Falls is basically a simmering petrie dish of illness and has been for the last 2 months (seriously, you can't go anywhere without someone coughing or sneezing on you. It's pretty gross) my family succumbed to the bugs about 3 weeks ago. I held out as long as I could, but eventually my immune system abandoned the good fight and I got sick too. When that happened, functioning and moving became a thing of necessity and all extraneous efforts were put out to pasture. Good bye Insanity. At least temporaily.
So, right now, I am trying to reset, to purge the toxins and carbs and sugars and drop some weight fast. I am working on my short term and long term goals and trying to keep my eye on the proverbial prize. It's not easy. Which I find shocking, really, if I am being honest. I know this shit works. I am 60 lbs lighter because it works. So if I know that it works, why don't I do it? Do I really like the taste of grease and chocolate and cheese that much??? Apparently I do. Disappointing.
I am totally full of tangents tonight. Must be a side effect of not blogging for a while.
Since I have decided to try and rededicate and be commited to improving and getting smaller, my compliments are coming back. And that makes me happy. I live for external validations. Not one of my better qualities, but there it is.
When I was dragging ass through the second half of last year I was feeling pretty down about myself. Clothes that used to be big were starting to get snug again. Jeans that I could be comfortable lounging in were being replaced with yoga pants. I was losing muscle tone and my skin was not as nice and glow-y. I wasn't feeling very good about me and what I was doing.
When I was in the midst of my weightloss and rocking shit out, I was getting compliments left right and centre. Honestly, sometimes I got embarrassed. It was crazy. But when I started not feeling good about myself, that gravy trained dried up. No compliments. Nothing. Nada.
But in the last couple of weeks, since I have tried to improve and be positive, the compliments are coming back. Not a lot, but enough to help carry me through the tougher times. Today at work, I was walking back to my desk, after getting a tea. A man that I walk by at least 3 times a day (on the days that I am in the office, which is about once or twice a week) stood up to watch me walk. When I rounded the corner of desks, he actually called out to me.
"Looking good!" A tone of admiration, tinged with a bit of surprise.
Sure, I was basically sexually harrassed at work. :) But I will take it!!! I was a little bit blushy and tittery. It's ridiculous, I know. But still...it's nice to hear.
So today, I was feeling good and walking tall. Sure, I had a cookie (or 2 ) for dessert when I shouldn't have. Yes, I still have a long (looooooooong) way to go.
But a boy looked at my butt today and was ok with what he saw. Can't beat a day like that.
Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "never enough compliments!"