"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Light of my life

The other day, I came home from work, tired and a little bit broken.  I have been working hard to not be negative and pessimistic when it comes to work.  I have been doing pretty good, but sometimes, I need a little transition time.  So, after coming home, making dinner, eating, and cleaning up, I wanted to rest.  I wanted to stretch out on the couch for 5 minutes and close my eyes.

Of course, Sawyer wanted to play. 

I have also been trying to be more present in my kids' lives.  I put aside my technology until after the kids are asleep (tonight I watched a documentary, while Sawyer was awake.  It was the first show that I watched for myself, while she was awake in about a month).  I try to do what they want to do, when they want to do it.  I try to encourage their creativity and to think of new and interesting things for us all to do together.  Sometimes, I forget, but for the most part, I remember, and I think I have been doing a pretty good job.

But other times, I just want to lay down.

So, this night, as I stretch out, and finally start to relax my tight, sore back muscles, Sawyer comes up with her tin of puzzle pieces.  "Please mommy, we do puzzles now?"

I admit, my reaction wasn't great.  "No Sawyer, mommy wants to lay down.  Just give me 10 minutes, then we can do the puzzle."

Sawyer doesn't take no for an answer.  Ever.  Never.  On and on, she pestered and pestered.  Finally, I lost my temper. 
"Why is it, everytime I want 5 minutes for myself, you absolutely have to have me do something?  Why can't I ever just have time for myself?!?"

Sawyer calmly began setting out the pieces for her puzzle.  Without even looking at me, her reply, so much older than her years, was (and I quote):

"Because you are our mommy, and me and 'Bastian need you."

How can I argue that?  She is exactly right.  I did puzzles with her for an hour. 

Thank you, my lovely, for a much needed reminder of my priorities.  I love you.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "needs reminding, just once in a while".


  1. Very interesting...my older son's name is Sebastien and my youngest has always, since he could talk, called him Bastien. So cute isn't it?

  2. I love the name Bastian. It helps that it's the little boy's name in The Never-Ending Story, which I love. We have called Sebastian "Bastian" from almost day 1. :) Nice to know there are other's out there! Thanks Natalie!