I have had this discussion with many people over the years, but my very, VERY favourite person to talk about irrational fears with is my brother, Adam. He has some fantastic ones, and I love hearing about his wonderfully logical reasoning for why these fears are not irrational, but instead, completely sane and realistic. Like when he thought he might have an ulcer. He had been having stomach pains, and was worried that he had an ulcer. Now, his worry was not based on the fact that ulcers are bad, indicators of stress and can become potentially debilitating. Rather, his worry was that the ulcer would allow his stomach acid to wear away a hole in his stomach lining and leak digestive fluid into his abdominal cavity.
Yes, his worry was that he would eat himself, from the inside out.
See what I mean??? Awesome. I am pretty sure there was also one about gravity no longer working, and him floating off the planet. :)
So, yes, I have mine own share of irrational fears. To me, I understand that the likelihood that these things will actually happen to me are slim to none, but that doesn't change the fact that I worry. I worry alot!
So, what do I worry about??
- I worry that if I cross into the States, I won't be allowed back. Every time I go over, I am never, ever comfortable, until I am back in Canada. I don't know what would prompt them to keep me, but I still worry about it.
- I worry that I will get salmonella from every piece of chicken that I eat. I make Geoff burn my chicken almost black, trying to cook it all the way through. At home, I scrutinize my meat. I have learned to do it a little less obviously away from the house. But if you catch me, don't be offended. It's really not you, it's me.
- I worry that if I don't make my kids say their prayers before bed, something bad will happen. I know, I know. Weird.
- I always, always worry that my pants will split, or fall down. I have no idea why. It's the weirdest thing.
- I worry that every late night knock at the door is a serial killer. I don't answer.
- I worry about how Sebastian, with his autism, will do when the zombie apocolypse comes. How does he live and eat and function? How do I help him?
- I don't hang my feet off the edge of the bed, because of monsters. Seriously.
There is much more that I worry about. Some of those aren't so irrational. I worry about kidnappings of my children (I have nightmares about that where I wake up in a silent scream or sobbing). I worry about rape and murder. I worry about drunk drivers, and global warming and sharks.
So, I have lots of worrys. Most of mine have a base in reality, but these are just a sampling of my (not so- at least to me) irrational fears.
I am fucked. I know and acknowledge this. Just laugh along with me. :)
Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for nincompoop.