"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Friday, April 15, 2011


I went back to work today.  Ug.

I worked from 830 am to 7pm, came home, spent a couple of hours with the kids, and then worked from 9pm to 12am.  It is now 12:10 and I am so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open.

I was questioned all day today.  Everyone wants something from me.  I shouldn't have gone back, but I felt so incredibly guilty, I couldn't stay home.  When I left, suddenly, Val had to pick up all my slack.  That was so unfair to her, I feel incredibly sorry.  She has so much work on her plate and I just added to it.

So, questions.  Why is this happening?  Why is that not happening?  How long will it take?  When will you know?  What are you going to do?  Can you?  Will you?  When? When?  When?

I hate to admit it, I cried today.  Right at my desk, which isn't even my desk.  I put my head down, and let a few tears come. 

But, I finished the day (about 15 minutes ago).  I got some stuff done.  And I answered questions.

But I have a bunch of my own. 

- Where am I going?
- What do I want to do?
- What will make me happy?
- When can I get here?
- How do I do it?

I just want some answers.  But I guess everyone does.  I guess I am really not so special, I don't have any more answers than the rest of you. 

I am just gonna go get a drink, and go to bed.  Night all.  I will see you all tomorrow.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "Night time ramblings".

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