"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


We all make them.  In my head, I know this.  But I really, REALLY hate to make mistakes.  I especially hate when my mistakes are caught by other people.  I hate looking stupid, or feeling like a fool.

I always imagine the worst, that this mistake will get me fired, or that mistake will make people laugh out loud at me and call me dumb. 

As soon as I know that I have made a mistake, I HAVE to fix it.  It gnaws at me, until I can get to it.  I have to work through it and figure out what went wrong.  Honestly, most times I go into it believing that I am still right.  But once I find out that I am not, I need to make it right.  I need to make it better. 

So, I have just spent 3 hours, sucking up my mistakes.  Fixing them.  Trying to make it right.  Apologizing, and planning on how this will never happen again.  It makes me feel better to do this, but I still feel horrible that it happened in the first place.

Yes, it's just work.  No, it's really not a big deal.  It's just another way to prove that I am not perfect.  But I hate it.  I really, really, REALLY do.

I will get over it.  I know this.  But I will never make this mistake again. 

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "never again".

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