Stumble, not a fall

So, I think I have told you guys that I am trying to lose weight and eat healthier. 

Today I stumbled.  I'm kinda not happy about it.

I am really trying to keep a good frame of mind about it.  To keep it in perspective.  To understand that it is exactly that...a stumble, not a fall.  Even if I had fallen, I can get right back up, dust myself off and keep going.

So, basically, the plan I am using has 3 phases.  In between each phase (a phase lasts for 3 weeks), you go on a 4 day reset.  During the reset, you don't exercise, you allow your muscles to rest and heal, and you cut your diet to pretty much just lean protein and veggies (there is more, but in very limited quantities).

The reset is great, because you drop weight like crazy.  I did a 2 week reset at the beginning, lost 16 lbs and kept it off, even after I started eating more in my first phase.  I am now finished Phase 1, and on the reset waiting to start Phase 2 on Saturday. 

I have been doing great, and have lost 4lbs already on the reset, bringing me to a grand total of 24.3 lbs in 7 weeks.  I am pretty stoked. 

But then today happened.  It was an avalanche of errors...

- I skipped my morning smoothie, because I ran out of time.
- I missed lunch, because we were at Disney.  I had 3 handfuls of salty popcorn instead.  Boo.
- I ate pizza for dinner.  Granted, I did gluten free crust, I picked the 500 calorie pizza off the menu and then only ate half of it.  But still, on the reset- carbs are a no-no and cheese is ALWAYS a no-no.
- I ate a Swedish berry.  Ok, maybe 2.
- I ate a slice of bread.  With Becel.  *sigh*

I know, in the grand scheme of things, this is so totally not a big deal.  First of all, it's one day.  No biggie.  Second of all, I still probably came in at or below my calorie limit.  But still...I have been doing so well, for so long.  It bothers me that I messed up. 

Before, I would have thrown up my hands and said "F*ck it" and eaten another piece of bread, plus some of the amazing smelling banana bread I made for Geoff and Sawyer.  I would have had a diet pepsi (haven't had a pop in 7 weeks, remember!!!!) with ice and lime.  I would have talked Geoff into ordering a pizza with wings and blue cheese for dipping.  And then I would have eaten a cookie or 6.  And done it all with a smile in my face and a song in my heart.

Until tomorrow.  When I woke up and thought about what I had done.  Or when I blocked what I had done from my head, so that I wouldn't have to think about it at all. 

So, now, I own it.  Yeah, ate the bread.  Oh well.  Won't do it again.  Yep, had popcorn and cheese.  That's ok, hope it was good and the memory of the taste will carry you through the next 3 weeks.

Here's what I should remember about today:

- drinking water, only water, at Disney, and Boston Pizza and home.
- starting to pick at the 2nd half of that pizza, and stopping.  Forcing myself to put my fork down.  Geoff threw the napkin over the plate, so I wouldn't look at it, and then the waitress took it away.  But in the end, I DIDN'T EAT IT.
- not eating the banana bread.
- not putting peanut butter and jam on the bread that I did eat. 
- hoofing it through Hamilton dragging Sebastian.  I didn't realize at the time, but I wasn't winded.  Not once.  Not even a little.  My back didn't hurt and I wasn't tired.  That's a big friggin' deal.
- taking a picture of myself that I didn't hate.  Even I thought "you kinda look ok in that picture."  And that's a huge step forward for me.

So, I guess on second thought, it wasn't that bad of a day for me, after all.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "now, on with the show."