"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Monday, June 25, 2012

Positively Negative

So, in continuing with my updates on our little life here, I thought I would bring everyone up to speed on my positive thinking journey.

I will admit, I have struggled with this lately.  Like I said before in a previous post, the last couple of weeks have been very challenging at work.  It feels like I have travelled back in time to 6 months or a year ago.  I feel like I am in the exact same spot, with my leadership team having learned nothing and done nothing to improve our situation.  We are still understaffed, we still have inept people on the team, just to have butts in the seats and our processes are still not sufficient and worked through.  It is incredibly frustrating. Before you ask, yes, we- the actual team- have tried to implement and change as much as humanely possible.  But some things you absolutely need management to do- like hire more people in a timely fashion and manage client expectations to realistically reflect what 4 people can do, when they aren't working 60 hour work weeks.  

So, with this big negative cloud hanging over me, I slipped out of my positive thinking.  I try and try to get back into it, but I think I might have to do the exercise again and commit to the 28 day cycle of thankfulness and gratitude each day.  It was much easier when I had someone (well, a book, really) telling me what to do.  So, I think starting tomorrow, I will be back on that bandwagon.

'Cause really, the crazy thing is that it worked.  It really did.  I mentioned before about how we had all these people finding Cracked Lens on Facebook.  That died off as soon as my gratefulness did.  Sebastian's stutter had petered out significantly.  Sometimes, he didn't stutter at all.  I noticed last week, his stutter is coming back.  Not as bad, but still not as good as it was.  Money, while not pouring in, was a tiny trickle, and enough to keep the wolves at bay. :) (dramatic, I know!)  Plus I felt better, and lost weight more.  I was just a happier person. I don't like the negative nelly that I have become.

So, like I said, tomorrow I get back on the horse.  I have much to be grateful for.  I just need to remind myself of that...every day.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "new lease on gratitude".

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