"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Le Poisson

I killed my fish.

I feel really, really bad about it. 

I didn't do it on purpose, of course.  These are the fish that I had in my fairy/pirate pond.  They were feeder fish that I paid $0.59 for a year and a half ago.  I bough 6 originally, and lost one that first summer.  I pulled them inside and put them in our fish tank over the winter.  I took really good care of them, and when the weather started to turn nice again, I moved them back outside into the new and improved pond.  Adam dug up the pond again this year, and the fish got pulled out again and lived in a bucket for a couple of days.  The fish had gotten bigger and brighter over the winter, in their protected little area, so I was worried about them in the pond through the summer.  Birds would come in alot and try and fish for them.  It would be days before I would see all of them together, so I was constantly thinking that I had lost one or 2 to a crafty fisherman.  But they made it through.  Whole, brightly orange.

I meant to pull them out about 2 weeks ago.  I got busy. I got distracted.  I went on vacation. 

Basically, I forgot.  And then it got cold.

Today, my dad told me he had fished 2 of them out the other day and they were both dead.  My heart dropped.  I ran out right away and started fishing through the leaves and detritus for them.  I found them.  All of them.

They were huge.  They were looking very healthy, if you could ignore the fact that they were dead. 

I feel like a horrible human being.  Yes, they were just fish.  But they were my fish. They were my responsibility and I let them down. 

I am trying not to be melodramatic about it.  But it has been bothering me for the last couple of hours. 

I will get new fish, maybe over the winter.  They make me happy and it gives me a purpose to have them to look after.  But I am gonna miss my fishies.

Sorry boys.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stand for "no excuse".

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