Right now...

Right now...

I can hear my son humming.  That is his stim, and he does it when he is nervous, scared, anxious.  But this is his happy hum.  He is content and doing what he loves.

Right now...

My dog is running down the stairs.  The weather is beautiful and he wants to be outside.  He stays out for hours at a time, laying on the steps of the side porch, nose to the wind- sniffing, sniffing. He, along with so much else of my life, is being neglected and having to wait.  I think he understands, and even if he doesn't, he forgives.

Right now...

There is a bouquet of flowers on my counter top.  It smells like spring.  I can smell the hyacinth up here in my room.  It is my favorite flower scent, followed closely by lilacs and sweet peas.  The smell of hyacinth sends a shot through to my heart, that makes me happy and content.  I am thrilled to have them in my home.

Right now..

My daughter just came in my room, making her small noises and she talks to herself.  She is climbing up the side of the bed, to tuck herself in beside me.  She is warm and sticky and smells like chocolate.  She must have found a cookie.  She is tired and yawns hugely.  She is laying on my legs, sleepy and soft.  

Right now...

My husband is downstairs.  I don't know what he is doing.  It is where he spends most of his nights, but now, it makes me worry..just a little.  He will be up soon, after I put the kids to bed.  We can talk a bit before sleep, and share some of our day. It can be hard, to not see each other for most of the day, and to try and catch up in only a few minutes.  If anything changes, I am hoping we will be closer, that we can have more meaning between us.  It's 13 years for us this year.  That is a long time for contentment to set in.  For complacency.  For routine.  We strive against it, when we think of it. But there is so much else to think about.

Right now...

I am laying on my bed, watching TV.  I watched TV all day.  It was wonderful.  I played with my kids.  We read stories.  We had cookies and milk.  I brushed Sawyer's hair and cut Sebastian's.  I am going to have a bath, and have a glass of wine, after I put the kids to bed.  I will go to sleep early, and try to think good, hopeful, powerful thoughts.  I will say my prayers.

Right now...

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "now".