Lately I have had a burning need to be creative. I have been blogging more that I did through the summer, and it has been a good outlet. I have lost some of my finesse, and find my blog posts to be rather blunt and to the point, so I am hoping that if I write more and more often, then I might get some of my talent back. I used to write a lot, and I would like to again.
We took a couple of pictures for Fan Expo, but I have been wanting to do more. I have ideas for the horror photos, but I have also been very inspired by macro photography, portraiture and others. I have a Groupon for an online photography course, and I am itching to start. I wanted to make sure that I got some stuff out of the way first, before I started.
I find I do that alot. I set a goal for myself, before I will allow myself to do something that I want. Like, I won't knit, until my bedroom is perfectly clean. And since my bedroom is never perfectly clean, I have essentially stopped knitting. I won't read a book until the dishes are done, or I won't blog until the laundry is put away. I know people say you have to get over that, or you will never do anything for yourself. I understand that intellectually, but the OCD in me struggles with the concept. Seriously, I am really starting to think I have some obsessive compulsive issues. Anyhoo...
I also want to start knitting again. One of my favorite blogs has a weekly touchpoint called Yarn Along. And every week you are supposed to take a picture of whatever it is that you are reading and knitting. Most of them are reading Christian based faith books and knitting socks for their solider sons in Afghanistan. I am reading Paul Magrs books about the Bride of Frankenstein and working on a pattern for a Princess Leia hat for babies (yes complete with the buns on the sides of the head. I think it's gonna rock.) But, I think I might start doing that. It seems fun and interesting and a neat way to share what you do with other like minded souls.
I think I have mentioned that money is tight right now, and with recent unexpected car repair bills (choke, gasp, sputter), it is tighter than ever. So, I think I am looking at doing things close to home, stuff that is cheap and fulfilling but also functional and practical. I am reaching for my creative roots.
My roadblock, as it always is, is time and energy. Motivation.
Every year, I fully intend to have an amazing vegetable garden. I want to learn to can, and make my own salsa and spaghetti sauce and pickles and corn relish. I want to do all of that very badly. The problem is, that I always seem to run out of time and money and energy. I work hard during the week, most of the time I work around 9 or 10 hours a day. It is pretty rare that I don't log in at night, and at least try and get organized and a little bit ahead of the game.
We are also trying to have more organized schedules with the kids at night. We are still keeping the TVs out of the kids room, limiting computer and TV time drastically for them. I am pretty happy. Sebastian went from about 7 hours of TV/computer time a day on school days (yeah, I know, I know- but when he gets up at 4 in the morning and you don't know it, he can sneak in about 3-4 hours before my day even begins!) to 2 hours of computer time (1 hour before school, 1 hour after school) and about 30 minutes to an hour of TV time. Not bad, eh? The timer on the computer is working like a dream. It took a little coaxing, but he realizes now that if he is good and stops when I say, then I am more willing to let him have time in the morning. We also have the lap top password protected, so he has to come get us, in order to start the computer. So no more sneaky sneak down at 430 am (seriously!). I send him back to bed, and he has to wait until at least 6/630. So, good news all around.
But all this monitoring means that we have to replace the time with something. They do have to spend some time with themselves, entertaining themselves and doing quiet activities, like puzzles, colouring or reading. But we also will go to the park, or play on the trampoline in the backyard. We go for drives or walk around the library. All cheap or free, all good for keeping them active and engaged.
Not so good for "me" time to be creative.
As we move into the winter, I am wanting to get my house cleaned out and organized. We are doing a little bit at time. Books, clothes, toys, stuff in general- it's all gonna go. Geoff is home and is trying to keep the house neat, so I think he is more on board than ever before. But this too, takes time away from me doing me things.
I am hoping that soon, I will have the drive and make the decision to take the time that I need to do the things that I want to do. I think it will make me happier, more content, and also energize me for the other things in my life that I have to do. I am optimistic about it. I am looking forward with hope. :)
Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "night time thoughts about day time dreams".