"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Always learning

Twice in two days, I have had people tell me that they are worried about me.  That tells me that I have been too depressed in my blog.  That tells me that I have to smarten up.  I think I had been kind of secretly hoping for someone to be worried, and to ask me hard questions.  But when someone even got close to asking those questions, I clammed up and tried to change the subject.  I realized then, I didn't want that.

So, instead, I am going to try and be more positive and optomistic.  I want to be happier and more satisfied with my life.  So, I am consciously deciding to make that happen. 
Somehow, someway, I am getting this up in my house. 

Tonight, I did some volunteer time with Autism Ontario, manning the booth at the Pen Centre, trying to raise awareness for Autism Month.  I had brought some knitting and my Kindle, preparing for a slow and boring night.  I was surprised to realize that someone else was working the booth with me, a man to twin boys, both diagnosed on the spectrum.  We started chatting, since we were spending the next 5 hours together. 

What I discovered was that when you do things outside your zone, step out, say hello and meet others, you can have the most interesting experiences.  Yes, our conversation started with autism.  We shared stories and laughs, and gave each other some tips- I told him about GF/CF diets and Heartland Forest, he told me about art  and movement camps at Brock and Suzuki music lessons. 

This hit me.  Hard.  Don't know why. 
Not thinking about it too hard,
 just accepting.
But after a while we got talking about other things.  It turns out that David works in the library at Brock, in the archive and rare books section.  He was telling me about some of the amazing books they have; they just got a verses book that is over 400 years old, that was created about 30 years after the printing press was invented, so it is quite literally one of the first books ever created.  They have a page from a bible that was hand lettered around 1150.  They possibly have a letter written by Napoleon Bonaparte. 

The fact that this exists in our backyard is amazing.  To talk to someone that knows about this, and does this for a living was amazing.  You could hear his passion for the job in his voice and see it in his eyes.  The fact that I love books more than some people I know made us kindred spirits in a sense.  It was exciting to talk about and hear all about this world of history and literature and art.  It was a gift, something to be grateful for. Something to be happy about.

So this, this experience, this type of person, I am seeking this out.  I am finding myself in these words and worlds and lives around me.  And I am starting to be excited.

I hope this makes sense.  I hope you are inspired too.  Cause I am picking you, to come along with me for this ride.  Buckle up. :)

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "new lease on life".

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