"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Try, try again

I have decided to try, try again.

As many of you know (or maybe you don't and I just make wild assumptions!), we have Sebastian on a regimen of vitamins, supplements and homoeopathic remedies for his autism.  We also have him gluten, casein and beef free.  We started this in '09, so we have been at it for a while now.

Unfortunately, we have also been slack for a while now.  And a re commitment is in order.  This is what I mean by try again.  We have been lax on the food (coating on his chicken fingers, pizza occasionally, gluten all over the damn place!) and his meds.  He takes his Adderall religiously, but the vitamins, enzymes and all the rest fall by the wayside.  Eventually, when I have more cash in hand, we will head back to the naturopath and get him reassessed, to see where he's at, and start fresh.  Until then, I can do what I know will work.

I am recommitting to keeping Sebastian on his diet and his meds.  He has been doing so well lately- see my previous post about his printing- that I worry I am sabotaging his progress by letting him eat toast and by skipping an enzyme here or there.

Geoff is home with him much more than I am (and trust me, that doesn't make me happy.  Nothing against Geoff, I would just like to be home more!), and his commitment has slipped as well.  So I think it is time for us to reassess our priorities and get our proverbial house in order.

My biggest issue is that it costs big money to eat gluten free and organic.  That stuff don't come cheap. But, we don't have a choice.  It has to happen.  I need to be more vigilant and more creative.  I need to bake more, and use my recipes.  I need to stop thinking of it as an option and more as an absolute.

So, starting tomorrow, we are back on the right road.  I am commited- writing it down here makes it public, which then makes me accountable. There is no backing down now.

What I need to remember is how the changes came about for Bastian.  I try to think back, when we first pulled him off the dairy.  How clear he got, within days.  How magical it was.  And that is completely the right word for it.  It was like magic.  Night and day.  So worth it.

I need to think of that.  I need to remember.  I need to do it.

He is my son.  He NEEDS me to be smart for him, dedicated for him.  Strong for him.  It's the least I can do.

So, wish me luck.  I have travelled this route before.  I know the way.  One foot in front of the other, and off we go...

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "new lease on an old idea".

8 comments:

  1. Sending good thoughts and support your way. Focusing on the result is the best way to be able to maintain the discipline in anything. Your son is blessed to have a Mom that celebrates the magic.

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    1. thanks Kathi! That is such a wonderful thing to say. I think I want to have it made into a t-shirt! :)

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  2. Very good reminder for me as well Anita! I know how much work it is, especially when you have more than one child. Thanks for this, and I agree your son is very blessed to have you as his mother!

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    1. thanks Melinda. I hope it helps (or maybe it doesn't!) to realize that it's not just that you are struggling at the beginning, but that you need to remain focused and dedicated. It's also good to know that even if you fall of track, you can always chose to get back onboard. It's never too late. :)

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  3. Great post, Anita, and a reminder to all of that taking care of ourselves should never fall by the wayside. We can all use a little magic in our lives. I am also sending my virtual support. You can do this. The truth is, if you can then so can I, so can your husband and your son, so can all of us! Wishing you success!

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    1. Thank you Minette! I can use all the support I can get, and it helps so much to know that others are trying and failing and trying again and succeeding right along with us! Your best thoughts and wishes are so appreciated and welcome!

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  4. Hey Anita! This post actually made me cry...not because of the content, but because of the number of caring readers that you now have! It warms my heart to think that you are touching people outside of our little circle of friends and outside of work! I am so happy for you to get exposure to your writing and stories! Love you! T

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    1. Hey T! Thanks! I joined a blog challenge, so I post every day and get more exposure and people reading. It is so gratifying that Sebastian and his struggles and successes can have even more meaning and impact on the world. I knew he was meant for greatness! :)

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