"Change, when it comes, cracks everything open."
Dorothy Allen

Tuesday, February 12, 2013


I just recently (on Feb 6, to be exact) passed my one year anniversary for my weight loss journey.  Over the past year, I had lost up to 75 pounds.

 Unfortunately some of those pounds have found me again.  I don't want to say how many, but trust me, it's way more than I ever wanted to come back.  5 lbs up and down, I would have understood.  Trust me, this is more than that.

So, now, I know what I should be doing.  I have the blue print and I know that it works.  I have the tools, the exercises and the books.  What I am lacking is the motivation.

I am busy feeling sorry for myself.  I am busy thinking about where I want to be, not how I plan to get there.  I think of the good things that would happen if I lost another 10, 20, 30 or more pounds.  I just don't want to do the work.

I feel crappy, both physically and mentally.  The carbs I ingest give me headaches and make me lethargic.  The sugar too.  The rush I get at the time that I eat, though, seems to overpower much of that.

I have some hurdles to cross and other issues as well.  All of those reasons behind and driving the emotional eating.  I need to have some conversations, recruit some help and buckle down and get'r done.

So, why am I posting it here?  Not sure.  One, to talk about it.  It's hard to talk about.  I feel like a complainer and a whiner. So I don't talk.  But here, I'm not talking.  I'm typing.  And that's allowed.
Two, to hold myself accountable.  I need to make changes.  I am unhappy with the path I am on, and I need to make myself happy.  No one else will do that.  No one else SHOULD do it.  It's all on me.  But until I say it (or in the case, type it) out loud, what remains unspoken can remain hidden.  I don't have to act on anything that I haven't made real through expression.

So, I am going to try and put the effort in.  I have been going through the motions, but my heart and soul and passion have not been a part of it.  I need that to happen.  I put these picture in this post to try and show myself how far I have come.  I don't want to go back there.  I don't want to be that person again.

So, now, I need your help.   If you can think of things that I can do, to help myself be motivated, to stay focused, tell me!!!  I need help!  I have been looking at blogs and others that have been successful.  I try to walk in their footsteps.  But anything you might have for me- I will take it.

I will try to keep everyone up to date with my journey.  One step at a time.  Time to take that step.

Rosie N. Grey
The N stands for "new lease on life".

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